Sonisphere 2010

Knebworth, Hertfordshire, 30th July - 1st August 2010

So the Cult are just launching into 'Rain', when a guy pushes past us dressed as can of Spam. This is pretty much par for the course for Sonisphere. Bananas, Smurfs, gorillas, Vikings, the Baseball Furies and a bloke wearing nothing but his shoes, a moustache and a smile: we've seen it all this weekend. Andf what a weekend it's been!

Friday

Viking metallers Turisas at Sonisphere 2010

We may have missed the world record attempt at the Time Warp (debatable whether the record was smashed as apparently nobody was actually counting) but the field was still swarming with stocking-clad Rocky Horror rejects when we arrived on Friday evening. But never mind the Frank'N'Furters: the first band we see, Finnish Viking metallers Turisas, are dressed in fur and facepaint, for crying out loud! With their oom-pah brand of tankard swinging Euro-metal, they're like Lordi's bargain basement stand-ins. Not perhaps the most auspicious start to the festival, but quite fun all the same.

We swing over to the Bohemia tent, where wizardy rockers Bigelf are kicking off proceedings with a solid slab of Sabbath/Purpleinspired metal – although I am rather distracted by the transvestite Stevie Nicks lookalike behind the mixing desk…

Back on the Saturn stage, Europe are a little more sane, but while their slick, performance is all well and good and hair and teeth, really we're all just waiting for 'Rock the Night' (plus random Dio tribute) and 'The Final Countdown'.

Local lad Gary Numan, however, is the surprise hit of the festival: his intense, moody electro grind, riding a wave of grungy feedback, goes down a treat along with the sun, and while we may be waiting for 'Cars' and 'R Friends Electric' it's a much more enjoyable wait.

Alice Cooper is beheaded at Sonisphere 2010

For me, the man of the festival was always going to be Alice Cooper, and as usual, I'm not disappointed. The Theatre of Death tour is as fantastic out in the open air as it was at the Clyde Auditorium, and while we may not be inches away from the action this time, we can at least hear the music properly (the sound is consistently good at Sonisphere). The set list is pretty much as it was in November, that is, practically perfect (if you swapped 'Dirty Diamonds' for 'Stephen' anyway), the highlight for me being, as ever, a totally rocking rendition of 'Under My Wheels'. Alice, you are the greatest. We are not worthy..

And the weekend has only just begun.

Saturday

For Ian, Saturday is all about Swedish battle metallers Sabaton. And I have to say I'm pleasantly surprised by their set – almost as surprised as they are that anybody's turned out to see them at 11.50am. Bursting onto the stage in matching combat gear, they proceed to turn out a high octane history lesson in Second World War battle tactics, from the panzer elite of 'Ghost Division' to the cliffs of 'Galipolli'. Lead vocalist Joakim Brodén is a consummate frontman, using every inch of the stage in a manner reminiscent of a cross between Freddy Mercury and Primal Fear's Ralf Scheepers, if you can imagine that…

Lacuna Coil's mix of wailing vocals and nu-metal grunge isn't really my thing, and Lord only knows what's happened to Heaven's Basement, who used to be a cracking little glam/rock outfit and now just sound, well, kinda rubbish, fronted by a shaggy-haired schoolboy. Ouch!

Moving swiftly on we have the first of the two big four bands on the bill, Anthrax. I'm not exactly what you'd call an Anthrax fan, but you can't help but feel energised by their fast, furious and funky brand of thrash – and their 'Heaven and Hell' tribute to the late great Ronnie James Dio, which they launch into midway through 'Indians', is definitely better than Europe's…

I've loved Apocalyptica in the past, but today they just didn't really do it for me. Perhaps it was the lack of 'Enter Sandman' and 'Hall of the Mountain King', or the fact that the introduction of guest vocals makes them seem a bit like any other nu-metal Scando band, or perhaps the novelty has just worn off, but I found their perfectly proficient set underwhelming and disappointing. Sorry guys.

Having utterly failed to see Tim Minchin, who packs the Bohemia tent to bulging point, Skunk Anansie go down quite well in the afternoon sunshine. The frantic techno beat that heralds their arrival on stage sounds a bit dated, but you have to admire Grace Jones-a-like Skin, surely one of the best front women of the '90s, and 'Weak' and 'Twisted' really were damned good tracks.

Vince Neil of Mötley Crüe at Sonisphere 2010

And now, a question. Mötley Crüe: how do such an abysmal group of musicians manage to be so bloody brilliant? Discuss.

Vince Neil can barely sing a note, gasping his way through songs he's been singing for over twenty years with the help of a lyric sheet; Mick Mars can wail but, hunched over his guitar like a crab, he hardly oozes charisma; Nikki Sixx is sex on legs but hardly the world's greatest bassist, and Tommy Lee… is Tommy Lee. The stage set was built for the Saints of Los Angeles tour, but we don't get a sniff of the new album (probably cuz Vince can't remember the songs), the band instead sticking to a greatest hits set culled mainly from Dr Feelgood. 'Too Fast For Love' and 'Don't Go Away Mad' are the highlights and a rendition of 'Ten Seconds to Love' so shambolic it's barely recognisable is definitely the low point, but when it comes to adrenaline pumping good time fun, you really can't beat the Crüe.

And so to the headliners, German industrial metallers Rammstein, who appear to evoke a Marmite-like love/hate division in our camp. While I'm not rushing home to download their entire back catalogue, I found the fiery spectacle of their live show utterly exhilarating, while Ian stood with a face like thunder throughout. But even if the Teutonic, almost operatic, bombast of their music may not be to everyone's taste, what's not to like about constant pyro, rivers of fire, a keyboardist in a spangly suit marching on a treadmill and a dinghy foray into the crowd?

Sunday

And so to Sunday. Diehard metallers may question the presence of tribute band the Fab Beatles, but even they are flying the flag for heavy rock, segueing 'I Feel Fine' into 'Run to the Hills'. Nice.

Over in the Bohemia Tent, Brit rockers Voodoo Six serve up a solid, no-nonsense portion of retro metal reminiscent of the Almighty, followed by a footstomping Bayou blues set from The Union, the new outfit from Thunder guitarist Luke Morley. Besides throwing a few shapes, Morley keeps a low profile, leaving vocalist Pete Shoulder to hog the limelight – deservedly so. He may have a daft Dr Who hairdo, but Shoulder is a great singer, definitely one to watch out for.

Next up, Slayer show the kidz how it's done (loudly, grittily and kinda scarily, with some of the best, most gut-twistingly dark riffs in the world – although was Tom Araya really drinking a mug of tea? My man!), followed by the kidz themselves, Sheffield's Bring Me The Horizon. I have to admire the determination of tattooed, pipe-cleaner skinny vocalist Oliver Sykes to wreak moshpit mayhem, and if you like being kicked in the head whilst listening to the noise of instruments begging for mercy, this could be your new favourite band…

Ian Astbury of the Cult at Sonisphere 2010

Last time I saw The Cult I was pretty disappointed, but, as Vince Neil can attest, it's amazing what a few pints can do to cast a rosy glow over bad vocals. Sure, Ian Astbury's majestic pipes are somewhat strangled these days, but that doesn't stop the rock gothfathers delivering a classic, crowd-pleasing set. Hooray!

On the way to the Jagermeister tent to see Northern Irish punks Sweet Savage, I catch the last two songs from bouncy US frat rockers Army of Freshmen, and I have to say they're really rather fun. In fact, if you've outgrown McFly but are too fragile for Bring Me The Horizon, they could be your new favourite band.

Sweet Savage wrap up a rousing set with a corking rendition of 'Whiskey In The Jar', then it's back to the Saturn stage for the godfather of punk himself, Mr Iggy Pop. Iggy is exactly as you'd expect him to be (in fact, he's now such a caricature of himself that it could be his Swiftcover puppet up there), leather-faced and full of livewire kinetic energy, whether he's dragging random punters up onto the stage or leaping around like a loony to 'Feel Alright'. Less leaping around for his band, however, now more stodgy than stooge. Oh well…

Eddie is The Trooper at Sonisphere 2010 And finally, Iron Maiden. The fact that Bruce Dickinson feels moved to explain the reasoning behind the song choices, which draw heavily from the band's last three albums, suggests that he realises it's not perhaps the setlist a festival crowd would expect (or, in the case of casual fans like myself, really want). But given that last time I saw Maiden I vowed never again, that I found myself enjoying the gig says much for the power of Britain's biggest metal band.

And so to bed (or rather, to the hotel bar for a Baileys or two) as a cracking weekend comes to an end. Sonisphere is a fantastic festival – well organised, fun and friendly. Hell, even the weather behaved itself. So I may not have discovered my new favourite band, but I could have discovered my new favourite festival.