'Jump up and down and clap your hands! It sounds a bit Village People but it's fun!' exhorts Joakim Brodén of Sweden's premier Discovery Channel heavy metallers, Sabaton.
Not so much YMCA, more RHPS. There are men dressed as pirates, in honour of local support Alestorm, men dress as Sabaton, in urban combats and armoured vests, and men dressed in very little at all, given the unseasonably humid temperature in the Garage. I'm just glad Viking rockers Turisas aren't playing, as men dressed in furry tunics would be one step beyond…
Flying the Jolly Roger for Cumbernauld are Scottish Pirate Metal band Alestorm. These salty sea dogs have hit on the canny notion that if you sing very loudly about rum, wenches, pieces of eight, mead and more rum, to an accompaniment of shanty-style accordion widdling and a solid wall of geetar onslaught, you'll become extremely popular, even if you can't play your instruments all that well and all your songs sound pretty much the same. Alestorm are a one trick pony and they know it, but when your trick is this wildly entertaining, who's complaining?
Last time I saw Sabaton they were playing the breakfast slot at Sonisphere, shoehorned into the shortest set since Steven Tyler walked off the stage after one song. Despite the early hour, they filled the stage with the power of their performance and the exuberant personality of lead vocalist Brodén, so the tiny stage at the Garage hardly seems big enuff to hold all six of them.
Not that they're complaining. Launching into 'Ghost Division', they proceed to tear through a potted metal history of warfare, from the Vikings to the Falklands. Okay, so it's not entirely my thimbleful of rum (it's hot as hell, and the pit is crazy, half-naked blokes slamming into each other like Sumo wrestlers in battle fatigues) but there's no denying that Sabaton are a skilful bunch of musicians, mixing NWOBHM and thrash influences with the melodic riffs of Queen and even strains of Abba (listen to 'Cliffs of Gallipoli' and tell me I'm wrong), and their enthusiasm and genuine delight in playing live is highly infectious.
Finishing up with 'Primo Victoria' (complete with obligatory jumping up and down) and genre homage 'Metal Machine', Sabaton retire in a blaze of glory, the sound of their name chanted to the rafters. In their way, they're almost as much a one trick pony as Alestorm, but again, you won't hear me complaining. (Okay, not about Sabaton, anyway…)