Manowar
Glasgow O2 Academy, 1st November 2011
If Spïnal Tap are too serious for you and Iron Maiden too postmodern, may I suggest you try Manowar?
This US four-piece, masterminded by haughty equine bassist Joey DeMaio, have been pedalling their metal wares round Europe and the Americas for aeons, but very rarely do they grace the shores of Blighty. But, well, here they are, bringing with them a set of songs that sound as if they’re written using a Manowar magnetic poetry kit (which you can probably buy in their store for £45, along with a Manowar pen, Manowar condoms and a Manowar Christmas decoration – I kid you not). Manowar songs are entirely composed using around thirty words: ‘steel’, ‘metal’, ‘blood’, ‘sword’, ‘fire’, ‘man’, ‘loud’ being the predominant six. Yup, they truly are the cavemen of rock’n’roll…
Don’t get me wrong, I like Manowar. Beneath the pompous posturing there’s competent musicianship and some mighty, memorable tunes. But almost two and a half hours of full metal Manowar racket is simply too much for me. Real men may play on ten, but Manowar play on eleven, creating a palpable forcefield of sheer noise that blows across you like an atomic wind, physically vibrating your entire body. (Perhaps, in retrospect, I should have stood nearer the back. Or worn earplugs. Or both. God, I’m getting old.)
The first half of the show is devoted to their 1982 debut album Battle Hymns, the highlight being the title track, a fist pumping, foot stomping anthem to warfare that Henry V would have played at Agincourt if he’d had enough Marshall amps.
The second half (yes, there is an interval – but why? I hear you cry, when you can go to the bar/loo in the endless guitar and bass solos, or indeed in the interminable hours it takes to band to actually finish a song) is devoted to, well, everything else, ‘Kings of Metal’, ‘Warriors of the World’ and ‘Black Wind, Fire and Steel’ being, er, the tracks I an remember. (Although they steer clear of my favourites, ‘Heart of Steel’ and ‘Sword into the Wind’, the ‘sherry for the ladies’ songs as Ian refers to them. Okay so perhaps at this point I should leave Manowar to the true brothers and sisters of steel and make like a wimp and poser and leave the hall…)
Occasionally singer Eric Adams (he of the leather strongman’s suit and phenomenal screeching, operatic pipes) appears to realise just how ridiculous the band really are (even he can’t sing that he wears ‘jeans and leather, not crackerjack clothes’ without a hint of a smile) but on the whole Manowar seem to take themselves completely seriously, which is more than I can do. For Manowar, irony is definitely an adjective like goldy and steely. But most of all, metally.
