Alice Cooper + Man Raze
Glasgow Clyde Auditorium, 25th November 2009
A couple of days ago, a 65-year-old man caused a car crash on the M8 by driving up the carriageway the wrong way round. This is an act of such mind-boggling stupidity it seems almost portentous, like cows giving birth to two-headed calves, comets shooting across the sky or the entire internet falling to its knees when Michael Jackson died. And come to think of it, the weather's looking Biblically bad as well…
But I've been waiting twenty years for this night, and if the very gates of hell fly open and spew forth the souls of the damned, I'm getting to Glasgow.
This may seem off topic, but really it's not. For who else would have their coming foretold with Carmina Burana accompanied omens but that Jekyll and Hyde Jesus of rock'n'roll, twisted shock rocker/committed Christian family man Alice Cooper? Yup, the Coop is back, and he's bringing his ultimate musical morality play to town. And we have front row seats…
The road to hell (that'll be the M8 then) is paved with surface water and stationery vehicles, so we miss most of the set from Phil (De Leppard) Collen's Man Raze – a pity, because what we hear of their raw, old school blend of punky riffs and driving beats (courtesy of legendary Sex Pistols sticksman Paul Cook) sounds pretty darned good.
But at last the moment is upon us, when I get to be the closest to Alice I'll probably ever be. The curtain drops and the band launch into a 'School's Out' sandwich of classic Coop. The set list is an absolute joy: kicking off with a trilogy of paeans to disaffected youth ('Eighteen', 'Department of Youth' and 'Wicked Young Man') before diving headfirst into the straitjacketed crazy stuff with 'Ballad of Dwight Frye', 'Go To Hell', 'Poison', 'Is It My Body' (showing that, at 61, Alice can still sleaze with the best of 'em), a very touching 'Only Women Bleed', 'Guilty', 'Devil's Food', 'Be My Lover', 'Dirty Diamonds', 'Billion Dollar Babies', a powerful rendition of newbie 'Vengeance Is Mine' … did I miss one? Probably.
Up close the sound may not be that great, but you do realise that Alice can really act. 'The Awakening' sends chills down the spine, while a splendid From The Inside sequence, which culminates in Alice swinging from the gallows, clad in graffiti-scrawled inmate's pyjamas and a nurse's wig, singing 'I Never Cry', is starkly moving.
By this time in the proceedings, our antihero has already been bumped off twice (via the trusty guillotine and a magnificent enormous hypo full of bright yellow poison) and he still has another death to go (courtesy of an iron maiden device, complete with fountains of squirty blood), making this surely the most theatrical and gory AC show we've ever witnessed.
From the front you can see how hokey the whole thing is, but then again, who really cares? (Especially if you've got the lovely Keri Kelli just inches away. Mmm…) And it also gives you the chance to see how incredibly detailed Alice's costumes are: I want a purple velvet jacket with alligator-skin tails and a voodoo top hat!
'No More Mr Nice Guy' and my all time fave, 'Under My Wheels', bring the night to a storming close, topped by the final rendition of 'School's Out', complete with bouncing confetti-filled balloons. And then it was all over – 'til next time.
With his boundless energy, razor sharp wit and canny ability to see into the dark side of life and still come out laughing, the craggy-featured Mr Cooper is surely one of the most enduring and endearing rock icons on the planet. The signs are all there: he is the greatest.
Alice Cooper + Mötorhead, 7th November 2007
Monsters of Rock 2006, 3rd June 2006
Alice Cooper, 12th November 2005
Guilfest 2003, 4th-6th July 2003
Alice Cooper, 21st May 2001
