Bienvenu a Napoli
Dirty, noisy, crazy, chaotic. Vibrant, colourful, fascinating and brimful with joie de vivre (or should that be piacere da vivere?): Naples is all this and more.
A city of incredible contrasts, you can step from designer luxury straight into dog poo in just five paces: from the elegance of the Lungomare, lined with swanky five star hotels, the picturesque charm of the Borgo Marinera and fisherman's village of Mergellina (and, yes, it is very annoying that I forgot the camera when we went there), the decaying grandeur and stinky squalor of the mean streets of the Quartiere Spagnolo and the joyful bustle and moped madness of Spaccanapoli, the Old Town. Hop on a train and step off into the pages of history at Pompeii, or catch a boat to glitzy Capri, holiday home of the rich and famous, or peaceful Ischia, with its fishing boats and donkeys, or just stay in the city, soaking up the amazing, exciting and invigorating atmosphere.
True, Naples isn't for everyone (especially anyone who has a problem with marching across six lanes of honking, fume-belching traffic - the cars will stop, honest - but this won't stop you being terrified that they won't. Our tip? Use an old lady as a blocker - Neapolitan old ladies are truly fearless and not above wagging an admonishing finger at any errant motorist who dares think they may have the right of way...) At some point, you will get hopelessly lost (it's almost as easy to get lost here as it is in Venice, and believe me asking for directions is a complete waste of time). You will probably get food poisoning (I did) and you will definitely tread in something unpleasant on the street. But there is something truly liberating about living for a few days in a city that really does seem to exist above and beyond the law.
These holiday snaps really don't do justice to the splendour and squalor of this fascinating city. Where are the dusty, rusty cars, their engines hanging out a foot below the bonnet? Where is the brilliant red and pink of a window box, perched perilously high in a dark, narrow alleyway festooned with drying washing? And where are the glamorous and gorgeous Neapolitans, in their designer jeans and huge sunglasses? Sadly not in our photos. Oh well. Here's what we did take pictures of, anyway. Enjoy...
Naples
The bay of Naples, with Vesuvius in the background. This picture was taken from the Castel Sant'Elmo, which boasts amazing views of the city.
Just a shame it took us three hours to walk there, having got hopelessly lost. Great way to start the holiday, 'ey... And that's not to mention the food poisoning...
Next to the castle is the beautiful Certosa di San Martino. This pensive shot was taken in the cloistered courtyard, a real oasis of peace in a chaotic city. So, incidentally is Santa Chiara, in the Old Town, a plain gothic church with beautiful cloisters decorated with charming frescos and floral porcelain columns.
Naples likes its castles. This is the Castel Nuovo, right on the shore. There's not an enormous amount to see inside (apart from an exhibition of scary 1980s designer dresses, for some strange reason) but it's still well worth visiting for the lovely views across the Bay.
Ian took these photos of the carvings on either side of the castle gate. Ooh look - armour...
Nightlife
This is Ian sitting in our favourite spot, Piazza Bellini, just round the corner from a hotel. As well as boasting the remains of the walls of the ancient Greek city of Neapolis, it's also home to some very fine bars, including the obligatory Irish bar, the St James, and Intra Moenia, an arty bookstore and cafe bar. Sooo Boho, darling... Ooh, and did I mention they do excellent cocktails? Mine's a mojito, grazie...
Pompeii
Visiting Pompeii, the city destroyed by the eruption of Vesuvius in AD79, is an incredible experience. Wandering through the dusty streets, still rutted by the wheels of 2,000 year old carts, peering into villas, shops, bars and even brothels, complete with frescos, mosaics and statues, is like stepping back in time - or onto the set of a sword and sandal movie.
Point to note: Pompeii is massive. Allow plenty of time to go around and take plenty of water with you. And wear a hat.
But although Pompei is hot and dry as a desert, it's also surprising green, with unexpected charming gardens round every corner (left).
The amphitheatre is straight out of Life of Brian. Otters' noses, anyone?
Ian in the amphitheatre, and (below) practising his moves in the gladiators' training courtyard. I'm Spartacus, and so's my wife...
Cave canem - beware of the dog. I dunno, he doesn't look that fierce to me... in fact, the Neapolitans are very fond of dogs, and you see them everywhere, flaked out asleep in doorways, town squares and anywhere they can find a spot of shade.
Capri
Next up, a taste of the high life courtesy of the ultra swanky Capri. Sophia Loren has a house there, dontcha know? It's very touristy on Capri, with day trippers milling around everywhere and waterside cafes serving up fantastic ice cream concoctions crowned with enough umbrellas, wafers and sparkly bits to sink a luxury yacht...
To get up to the town of Capri, you can either climb an awful lot of stairs in intense heat or you can take the funicular. We chose the funicular. The town itself is posh posh posh: the streets are lined with designer shops and there's no grafitti or dog poo in sight. It makes a refreshing change from Naples, but it is a bit synthetic.
The thing to do in Capri is take a boat trip around the coastline. That way you get to see the Grotto Azurro (right) - although as you then have to climb from your boat into a small rowing boat manned by a tanned and muscley fisherman, we rather feebly declined to take up this expensive and somewhat scary looking option. Those of our party who took the challenge returned looking rather relieved to be alive, as if they'd just be in on a very large and very frightening rollercoaster...
Left: the famous Farglione, or seastacks, a symbol of Capri.
Ian on board the boat
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The Piazzetta, or small square (left), is the lively hub of Capri town.
After an extortionately expensive ice cream there, we decided to return to the harbour for a quick trip to the beach (right). The sea was freezing, but nice once you were in...
Ischia
The following day, we were going to catch the ferry to Sorrento, but as the boat to Ischia went first, we decided to go there instead. Good choice, as it's a beautiful place, just as lovely as Capri but without the daytrippers and designer snobbery. Peaceful, friendly, old fashioned and jolly, I loved it.
Of course we took the obligatory boat trip. Well, it was way too hot to stay inland, although the thought of hiring a Smart car and getting stuck into some crazy Italian driving was a wee bit tempting, but Ian's white face hinted that perhaps this wasn't such a buon idea...
The boat trip - on the left hand side we have the director Luchino Visconti's pad. Nice. And on the right (below) we have the 'mushroom' (or fungo) rock, just outside the small town of Lacco Ameno.
This is me in the lovely fishing village of Sant'Angelo. There's not so much fishing goes on there and rather more thermal spa touristiness, but all the same, it's beautiful.
Sant' Angelo (left) and the Castello Aragonese at Ischia Porto. It sounds as if it would be very interesting to visit the castle, but it was far too hot to make the bus journey there.
So there you have it: our holiday photos. Of course we saw loads of interesting stuff we didn't photograph, either because we forgot the camera (doh!) or because photography wasn't allowed: the gloriously ornate Duomo; the art gallery at Capodimonte, which had a fantastic exhibition of portraits by Velasquez on show; the Castel dell'Ovo and Borgo Marinaro (once a fishermen's village, now a cute wee tourist spot with excellent fish restaurants), Lungomare and Mergellina; the Museo Archaelogico Nazionale (which would have been far more interesting if over half the rooms hadn't been shut - but the mosaics from Pompeii are just gorgeous and the adults only 'secret room' is rather amusing too... And you have to check out the Capella Sansevero (not to be confused with the basilica of San Severo, which is further north), where not only is there an extraordinary and somewhat creepy statue of Christ veiled, but also some very weird scientific automata, possibly created by the alchemist magician and occultist and Masonic Grand Master Raimondo di Sangro... Woooo...
Practical stuff
We stayed at the Hotel Neapolis, which you can book through Octopus Travel. I'd really recommend this hotel - it's right in the centre of the Old Town and very convenient for the port and all the major sites. Just don't be tempted to stay in any of the hotels near the station - it's a dump.
